2009 January Archive at beautifulinmyeyes.net

Archive for January, 2009

Preschool is a hit

Published on January 29, 2009 in Aidan, Funny, Parenting and Preschool years. 2 Comments

I am happy to report preschool is going very well. Aidan looks very forward to going. He loves his 2 teachers and greets them enthusiastically when he comes in. He is doing totally fine with me not being there except for the 1-2 times a month when I am one of the class parents.

Last Thursday when I picked him up, the kids were still outside on the playground and had just started to come in when teacher Judy blew her whistle. There were a few stragglers that didn’t want to go in….and big surprise…Aidan was one of them. I saw teacher Nancy gently prodding them to go in and then she spotted me coming to them. She said, “Wait there, we’ll come to you.” I heard her tell Aidan, “Your mom is here Aidan.”

I heard a squeal of delight and out pops Aidan’s smiling face from around the toy shed. He took off in a full sprint to me and threw his arms around me. He missed me!!! But the good kind of missing. Where he had had a great time without me but was still happy to see me. I loved it. That moment will probably be burned into my memory forever.

Teacher Nancy told me he is starting to really make some more connections with other children which is great because that is one of the big reasons we wanted to do preschool. His preemieness (especially his fragile lungs the first couple of winters) really limited our ability to get him same age social exposure.

I remarked to teacher Judy today that Aidan seems more comfortable being a little chatterbox around adults and a bit more reserved around his peers. I love these teachers because they bring a sense of balance to my thoughts around Aidan and help me understand the way kids work since their experience is MUCH more broad than mine. Judy nodded and said, “Well, Aidan is an oldest and an only. I always expect those kids in my class to be more comfortable with me in the first few months than their peers. Most of their conversations have been with listening, relatively quiet adults and it feels natural to them.”

She told me Aidan shared well today and that he is doing wonderfully. She thinks he is coming along at a wonderful pace and that I should not worry. At that point Aidan came running up to me, hugged teacher Judy, asked where teacher Nancy was, and insisted he must say goodbye to Liam before we leave. Too cute!

I am so glad we made this decision for our boy. It seems to be going really, really well.

Oh…and a funny. Aidan is SOOO obsessed with his Thomas trains. He has taken this into his pretend play. He pretends to be a train. He army crawls sometimes and tells me his knees and elbows are the wheels. He toots and chugs. Then he says , “See the smoke coming out of my smokestack” as he points to his head. And the color of shirt he is wearing determines what train he is that day. Today was a blue shirt so he was Thomas. Yesterday was a red shirt so he was James. He will even refer to Brandon and I as different trains based on the color we are wearing. He called me Gordon this morning because my coat was blue. I asked him why I wasn’t Thomas and he said, “Thomas is smaller and Gordon is big.”

Please, oh please tell me that their obsessions give way at some point. I just can’t go through life being called Mavis, Percy, or Gordon.

Cuteness at preschool to follow.

Guaranteed to make you smile

Published on January 18, 2009 in Aidan, Parenting and Preschool years. 4 Comments

Even on the days when motherhood is tiring, you seem to find a way each day to remind me how damn lucky I am. You are the best Aidan.

In the video, Aidan has just woken from his nap and discovered that his cat, Daphne, had crawled under his covers and slept with him. Aidan is clearly delighted. And, yes, this is the glorious laugh we get treated to every day.

For Kathi

Published on January 11, 2009 in Aidan and Friends. 3 Comments

The last few weeks have been a sobering reminder that life can be so short and our moments with loved ones so fleeting. A couple of posts ago, I wrote about my friend R taking her own life.

On January 1 I was shocked by the sad news that one of Aidan’s primary NICU nurses, Kathi, had lost her beautiful daughter Megan in a tragic ice climbing accident on New Years Eve. Megan was only 24 years old and had a bright future ahead of her. She graduated with honors from the University of Washington earlier this year, had aced her MCAT and interviewed at the UW Medical School. Her goal was to become a doctor and practice family medicine in a rural community. There are a couple of beautiful obituaries done on her in the Redmond Reporter and the Seattle Times.

I went to her memorial service yesterday. Though I did not know Megan, if the stories her mom had always shared with me were any indication of the type of person her daughter was I knew that I had missed out on knowing an incredibly beautiful person. My understanding from talking to another mourner was that the church held at least 700 people and it was literally standing room only. I was immediately taken by the outpouring of love for Megan and her family.

There was a glorious photo of Megan in the foyer of the church. The songs chosen for the service were beautiful. One of the priests spoke about who Megan was as a person. I was sitting in awe of a young woman who had done so much. Who embraced the outdoors, her family, and the opportunity to give back to her community and to help the less fortunate among us.

Kathi wrote and read a beautiful narrative about life with Megan. Speaking lovingly and tenderly about welcoming her into the world, stories of her childhood, and recent stories of her coming into her own womanhood. Traveling to Italy and studying abroad.

A couple of her closest girlfriends shared funny stories and one read Megan’s letter of application to medical school. It was clear that Megan must have gotten her writing ability from her mother, Kathi. It was filled with passion and evoked feelings of wanting to help others. I have no doubt she was on her way to a brilliant career in medicine.

The family compiled the most touching DVD presentation I have ever witnessed. Pictures of all of the stages of Megan’s life danced across the screen set to two different songs. The first was “Wide Open Spaces” by the Dixie Chicks. What a perfect song. Looking at all of the pictures of Megan out in nature and exploring the world was so well narrated by this song. The DVD ended with “Bookends Theme” by Simon & Garfunkel.

There were gorgeous pictures of tons of family adventure. A young Kathi with her young daughter. Megan’s brother Ryan putting up rabbit ears in one photo and tenderly holding his new baby sister in another. A proud father, Tom, taking his family out on numerous outdoor adventures. Kathi and Megan cooking in the kitchen. So much beauty. So much love.

I don’t believe I saw a dry eye anywhere I looked.

Kathi and Tom so clearly did the most amazing job raising Megan. I sincerely hope Kathi and Tom are so very proud of their Megan. I do so wish I had had the honor to know her. Instead I hope that Kathi will fill my head and heart with numerous memories of Megan as she feels ready to do so.

Kathi (if you are reading this), you mean the world to me. You helped me see light and hope during the darkest days of my life. You provided a scared, scarred, shell shocked preemie mom with understanding, compassion, and hope. You were the first nurse who really gave me hope that Aidan had a chance. You recognized my tremendous postpartum emotions on the day I had to go home without my baby and decided to find a way to let me hold him before I had to go home with empty arms. You were the first to place my child in my arms and allow me to breathe in the sweet smell of Aidan. You talked me through endless hours of questions, sorrow, and doubt. You cared for my baby like he was yours.

You were there for me in ways great and small. I can never repay you for all you did for my son and all you did to heal my wounded heart. I don’t know the best way to help you. All I know is that I desperately want to. I hope, in some way, I can repay the tremendous kindnesses and friendship you have shown me.

Brandon and Aidan and I all love you. Thank you for being you.

These are the photos that Kathi made possible. The first time I got to hold my son. He was only 5 days old.

Pictures of Kathi taking care of Aidan while still in the NICU.

Some of our visits with Kathi in the months after discharge.

Kathi, Daddy, and Aidan at the 2007 Preemie Picnic.

First day of preschool

Published on January 6, 2009 in Aidan, Parenting and Preschool years. 6 Comments

The amount of time I have spent trying to decide if Aidan is ready to start preschool is enormous. Given that he is an August 30 baby he qualified to start in most “3’s” programs this fall. He just didn’t seem ready to me. I chalked it up to him being due November 23 and decided to start him next fall.

He has given us signs over the past couple of months, however, that he is wanting some kind of new challenge. I wasn’t really ready to throw him into a preschool that was for more time than a couple of hours a couple times a week starting off. I looked into various preschools and found some that were WAY more academic than I even thought possible for a group of 3-4 year olds. I mean….DESKS? Seriously? For 3 year old boys? Yeah, right.

I had a friend of a friend suggest looking into a cooperative preschool. Somehow I stumbled onto the Mercer Island Learning Lab. They have “3’s”, “4’s” and “5’s (pre-k)” programs. Aidan and I observed one day in the classroom in December. He leaped right in. He painted, he built marble tubes with other kids, and he asked to go back after we left. I guess the decision was made.

I love the classroom and I love the philosophy. They follow the Reggio Emilia philosophy which believes that learning at this age should be child led and that they must explore and that too much structure stifles a love of learning. The two teachers told me that in their minds preschool should serve really only 2 main purposes. 1. An opportunity to build social skills. 2. Create a love of learning in a child through self-directed learning and exploration.

The classroom has 2 full time teachers and 3 volunteer parents each class time. There are 15 children in the class and it meets on Tuesdays and Thursdays from 9:30-11:30. Parents are always welcome to stay with their child at any time, but are required to be a class parent about 2 times a month. I stayed today and Aidan did well. I think he will be more than fine with me leaving now that he knows the 2 teachers. Today he built blocks, played with farm animals, hid in a bear cave (kids took a box and made it a bear cave), played in the water table, painted, sat down during story time, joined in group welcome circle and did some arts and crafts. He had a blast. At the end of each day they always have outside time. The playground has a massive “sandbox” and it is amazingly muddy after our December snowstorms melted.

Note to self. Go out and get rainboots tonight or tomorrow. Lots of the kids grabbed shovels and went to town. Aidan got incredibly muddy and needed a bath when he got home. He had a blast!

This seems like just the right kind of environment for a 3 year old boy. I think he is going to grow a lot from it.

And last but not least, here is the eye candy.

Daddy getting me ready for my first day.