Archive for the 'Friends' Category

No news is good news

Published on June 12, 2009 in Aidan, Family, Friends, Parenting, Preschool years and Straight from Aidan's mouth. 7 Comments

Wow!  It has 2 months since I have done any kind of remotely comprehensive update.  I don’t know why it has been so hard to find time to blog.  I have to chalk it up to life gliding along in a really lovely normal way right now.  There is a certain ease that life with Aidan has fallen into and it is nothing short of beautiful. 

Brace yourself for the mother of all updates.  And I’m sure I will still forget some really cool stuff!

Aidan just finished up his school year and will be on break from his preschool for the summer.  These last few months have been amazing for him and I am so glad we decided to go ahead and get him going on preschool.  Pretty much all of the 16 kids in his “3’s” class are coming back next year to do the “4’s” class together.  The moms have organized summer outings once a week with the kids so they don’t miss each other too terribly.  He has made some really good friends there and his social skills are booming!

Painting with some of his preschool buddiesWelcome circle at preschool

The preschool  year finished up with some neat events including baby ducks hatching in the classroom (the 4’s class brings them on their overnight to Pioneer Farm and gives them to the farm…Aidan will get to do this next year).  The kids got to see the baby ducks swim each class day and they all got their turns holding the ducklings.

Watching the baby ducks swimCheck out what is nestled in this towel I'm holdingBeing very gentle with the baby duck

The kids also had a “Teddy Bear Picnic” on the last official day of class.  A few days later his class gathered at the Pea Patch at Mercer Community Center to plant their pumpkin starts.  In the fall they get to go up in October and pick the pumpkins they planted.  I LOVE the wonderful continuity these teachers bring to the children.  I couldn’t possibly have found a better place for my boy.  :-)

Listening to the story of the teddy bear picnicThe teddy bear was down here having a picnic...just like the storyPopping bubblesThe teddy bear gets a hugThe buddies are happy to see each otherAidan, Sophia and Gracie digging the holes for their pumpkin startsAidan and Mommy helping plant the preschool pumpkin patch for this fallDorian, Kieran, and Aidan sharing a snack and comparing early summer scrapes

We spent Memorial Day weekend with my brother and his family.  My brother’s kids are 12 (girl) and 9 (boy).  Aidan ADORES them and he always rises to the occasion around older kids.  I couldn’t believe all of the things Aidan learned to do over that weekend.  He built marble runs with cousin Gavin, played stomp rockets with cousin Morgan, learned to ride a scooter, took part in a water fight and got Daddy, and got his first bike!  This child is really coming into his own and figuring out how his body works.  It is nice to see him take chances and not be afraid to try new things.  It was a glorious weekend.  When I saw him riding his bike, I actually had tears come to my eyes. So many times I had really never dared to dream of this day.  A day when I wouldn’t be thinking of oxygen tanks, damaged lungs, and all of the other things that came with his prematurity.  I was just watching my little boy growing up before my eyes…racing a scooter down the street and fearlessly pedaling his very first bike.  It was almost surreal.  I basked in it.  It felt….good, right, and overdue.

Oh those baby blues..just like DadHaving fun with the rocket launcherLaunchingScooting toward my cousin MorganMom following me on the scooterDaddy showing me how to use a supersoakerDaddy getting me with the supersoakerPayback DaddyI caught on right awayI'm a happy boy

The weather in Seattle has also been almost too good to be true.  We had a couple of 95 degree days last week and I have been taking full advantage.  I think Aidan and I have fallen just short of living outside the last few weeks.  We have gone on outings to the zoo, out to new parks, out to the Town Center fountains, to a new splash park, many neighborhood parks, and gotten him his first supersoaker.

Love the 3.5 year old cheesy grin!Hi Dad!Watching the penguins at feeding timeNew Penguin exhibit at the zooThis is a fun piece of equipment!Part of the new climbing structures at Grass Lawn Park...not too sure about thisHe was a pro in no time!Aidan and his new friend Nathan enjoying the fountains...it was 96 degrees today!Got me!Walking Bela with the waist leash...I think I'm such a big boySwinging with ThomasThomas is my friendThe whale's blowhole is spraying me!I think I want to climb the big whale!Up on the big kahunaHe almost looks like he is surfing or somethingCan I do thisYup!The dragon is spraying me too!This was so much fun Mom!He's having fun with theseGonna get you Mommy!

His brain is growing every day too.  He is currently amazing me with how much his intellectual curiosity is ramping up.  He has started asking LOTS of questions.  Some examples recently range from “Mom, do you think it will rain today?”, “My favorite engine is Thomas, what is your favorite engine?”, “What does THAT sign say?”,  “Why is Daphne’s (our cat) tongue so much rougher than mine?”  It is amazing to see his mind start to function in different ways and start to show lots of curiosity about the world.

Oh…and thanks to Daddy, Aidan finally totally potty trained in the snap of a finger. They were out and about with underwear on and Aidan wanted a pull-up to do “#2″ in and they didn’t have one. So Aidan didn’t have much choice but to go on the potty. And once he did that, he was totally trained. He has also stayed dry overnight better than 90% of the time. Just goes to show you that with a lot of things, when your child is really ready then it will be easier to do it than when they aren’t.

I’m sure I’m forgetting a ton, but let’s just say life is GOOD. It’s better than good. It’s amazing and I swear I am the luckiest woman on the planet to get to be part of this wonderful life with my son and my husband. I am truly humbled and grateful.

To close out the post, what would summertime with a 3 year old be without his first real summer scrapes? (courtesy of the new bike)

Evidence of my first real bike scrapes

Life is busy I guess

Published on May 5, 2009 in Aidan, Friends and Preschool years. 2 Comments

Oh my!  I promise we are ok!!!  Will update with a better post soon, but wanted to reach out and say hi to my blogger friends.

Until then, here is some eye candy from a recent park outing with some of Aidan’s friends.  Enjoy.  :-)

Checking out the birds with binocularsMade it to the top all by myself!Ring around the roseyLollipop cheers!This is fun climbing trees!

Content

Published on April 6, 2009 in Aidan, Friends, Parenting and Preschool years. 5 Comments

Before I was a parent, I would never have believed some of the things that give me such joy.  One of the most amazing things to witness right now is Aidan blossoming socially.  Watching your 3 year old develop these new friendships that are fun, fierce, silly, and awkward.  It is truly touching to see it happening. 

As we would sit beside Aidan’s isolette in those early days, I don’t think I even let myself REALLY imagine the boy I see before me today.  The boy that would be going to preschool, going to a friend’s birthday party for the first time, and learning how to make friends. 

So watching Aidan today at the zoo as he saw his friends Ryan and Brooke was a moment of sheer joy.  I felt my heart leap a little and a tear came to my eye.  The three of them said their excited hellos and in a moment of synchronicity just took each others’ hands and walked happily from exhibit to exhibit.  They talked, made animal noises, made funny faces, shared snacks, and laughed…a lot.

I go to bed tonight with a sunkissed face and a grateful heart.

Ryan, Brooke and Aidan at the zooCatch me!Being goofyMy gorgeous boy

Oh…and a couple of cute ones with Daddy working with him on learning how to pump his legs on the big boy swing.

Happy to be outsideDaddy showing me how to pump my legsI'm starting to figure it out!

For Kathi

Published on January 11, 2009 in Aidan and Friends. 3 Comments

The last few weeks have been a sobering reminder that life can be so short and our moments with loved ones so fleeting.  A couple of posts ago, I wrote about my friend R taking her own life. 

On January 1 I was shocked by the sad news that one of Aidan’s primary NICU nurses, Kathi, had lost her beautiful daughter Megan in a tragic ice climbing accident on New Years Eve.  Megan was only 24 years old and had a bright future ahead of her.  She graduated with honors from the University of Washington earlier this year, had aced her MCAT and interviewed at the UW Medical School. Her goal was to become a doctor and practice family medicine in a rural community.  There are a couple of beautiful obituaries done on her in the Redmond Reporter and the Seattle Times.

I went to her memorial service yesterday.  Though I did not know Megan, if the stories her mom had always shared with me were any indication of the type of person her daughter was I knew that I had missed out on knowing an incredibly beautiful person.  My understanding from talking to another mourner was that the church held at least 700 people and it was literally standing room only.  I was immediately taken by the outpouring of love for Megan and her family.

There was a glorious photo of Megan in the foyer of the church.  The songs chosen for the service were beautiful.  One of the priests spoke about who Megan was as a person.  I was sitting in awe of a young woman who had done so much.  Who embraced the outdoors, her family, and the opportunity to give back to her community and to help the less fortunate among us. 

Kathi wrote and read a beautiful narrative about life with Megan.  Speaking lovingly and tenderly about welcoming her into the world, stories of her childhood, and recent stories of her coming into her own womanhood.  Traveling to Italy and studying abroad. 

A couple of her closest girlfriends shared funny stories and one read Megan’s letter of application to medical school.  It was clear that Megan must have gotten her writing ability from her mother, Kathi.  It was filled with passion and evoked feelings of wanting to help others.  I have no doubt she was on her way to a brilliant career in medicine.

The family compiled the most touching DVD presentation I have ever witnessed.  Pictures of all of the stages of Megan’s life danced across the screen set to two different songs.  The first was “Wide Open Spaces” by the Dixie Chicks.  What a perfect song.  Looking at all of the pictures of Megan out in nature and exploring the world was so well narrated by this song.  The DVD ended with “Bookends Theme” by Simon & Garfunkel. 

There were gorgeous pictures of tons of family adventure.  A young Kathi with her young daughter.  Megan’s brother Ryan putting up rabbit ears in one photo and tenderly holding his new baby sister in another.  A proud father, Tom, taking his family out on numerous outdoor adventures.  Kathi and Megan cooking in the kitchen.  So much beauty.  So much love.

I don’t believe I saw a dry eye anywhere I looked. 

Kathi and Tom so clearly did the most amazing job raising Megan.  I sincerely hope Kathi and Tom are so very proud of their Megan.  I do so wish I had had the honor to know her.  Instead I hope that Kathi will fill my head and heart with numerous memories of Megan as she feels ready to do so. 

Kathi (if you are reading this), you mean the world to me.  You helped me see light and hope during the darkest days of my life.  You provided a scared, scarred, shell shocked preemie mom with understanding, compassion, and hope.  You were the first nurse who really gave me hope that Aidan had a chance.  You recognized my tremendous postpartum emotions on the day I had to go  home without my baby and decided to find a way to let me hold him before I had to go home with empty arms.  You were the first to place my child in my arms and allow me to breathe in the sweet smell of Aidan.  You talked me through endless hours of questions, sorrow, and doubt.  You cared for my baby like he was yours. 

You were there for me in ways great and small.  I can never repay you for all you did for my son and all you did to heal my wounded heart.  I don’t know the best way to help you.  All I know is that I desperately want to.  I hope, in some way, I can repay the tremendous kindnesses and friendship you have shown me.

Brandon and Aidan and I all love you.  Thank you for being you. 

These are the photos that Kathi made possible.  The first time I got to hold my son.  He was only 5 days old.

Getting ready to hold Aidan for the first timeKathi putting my son on me for the first timeIs this my Mama?Bliss

Pictures of Kathi taking care of Aidan while still in the NICU.

Baby Aidan 6IMG_1027

Some of our visits with Kathi in the months after discharge.

Aunt Kathi visiting me at homeAunt Kathi says I have gotten so bigThanks for visiting Aunt Kathi

Kathi, Daddy, and Aidan at the 2007 Preemie Picnic. 

Me and Daddy with nurse Kathi

Gone

Published on December 28, 2008 in Friends. 7 Comments

This is the first young friend I have lost in my life.  I have lost young acquaintances to tragic deaths, but never somebody this close.  I hesitated to write about this, but it has affected me profoundly.

(The names of the family involved are being “blinded” by using only initials for the sake of privacy.)  Monday, December 15 was a pretty average day.  Brandon and I were sitting on the couch watching something we had recorded on the DVR.  I heard my cell phone ringing in the bedroom, noticed it was 11pm and figured it was a wrong number.  It rang again 2 minutes later.  I ran into the bedroom to see who was calling.  It was our very good friend Clay.  I picked up and his voice was ragged and shaky.  He said, “Lori, we’re pulling up to your place right now.  I need  you to send Brandon out.  I need him.  There is no easy way to tell you this, but R killed herself tonight.”

I scarcely remember telling Clay that Brandon would be right down and sobbing “Oh my god” over and over while I hung up.  I stumbled into the living room and told Brandon he needed to go outside right now and that R had killed herself.

Clay, his wife Linda, and Brandon drove over to their house to be with R’s husband S.  I stayed here with Aidan since he was sound asleep.  I just stood in the living room and sobbed not knowing what had happened and just that my friend was gone.

Clay and Linda, S and R, and Brandon and I were all friends.  We had known each other as couples for over 7 years now.  S and R had their son N in December 2006.  Aidan and N played together whenever we all got together.  R was just 33 years old.

My mind was reeling.  When had I last talked to her?  A week or so ago.  Had she seemed depressed?  No.  What on earth had happened?

Brandon called a couple of hours later to let me know what was going on.  He would probably stay the night and help S with N and all of the stuff that was going on.  It turns out R hung herself.  S walked in to find her.  He tried CPR to no avail.  She was already gone.  Their sweet little son N walked in at some point and did witness S trying to revive R.  I worry so much that N will have a memory of that moment.

Aidan and I went over the next day.  He and N played happily and kept N busy while there were dozens of friends and family coming and going through the house.  When I saw S, I walked over to him and put my arms around him.  He fell against me and began sobbing.  I have never felt so powerless to comfort somebody before.  I just told him that we love him and his son and we will do whatever we can for them.

The next few days saw Brandon spending a good bit of time over there helping to organize things and Aidan and I coming over to play with N and just be there.

R’s funeral was that Friday.  The casket was open prior to her being cremated.  We all got to pay our final respects to her and see her one last time.  Brandon went down early with the family and I stayed with Aidan and N and played.  S felt that N was too young for it and didn’t want the last memory of his mom to be her in a coffin.   The boys and I played happily.  We played trains and tackle Lori.  They loved that one.  Aidan seemed to sense that N needed his friendship in a different way than normal.  He kept extending his hand to N and saying, “Come on, N, let’s go play.”  And then he would lead  him to another activity…almost like a big brother.  He seemed to be very happy to have a young playmate.  But about every 15 minutes or so, N would climb into my lap, straddle his legs around my waist and give me a hug.  Then he would run both his hands through my hair and I remembered that he used to do that to his mom.  I felt like my heart would break. 

Then Brandon came back and played with the boys while I went to the main service.  He played with them and fed them lunch and then brought them both to the lunch after the service.

R didn’t really look like herself in the casket.  She is Indian and had the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.  She had a gorgeous wide smile and an infectious laugh.  I was looking at her with her eyes closed and the vivacious personality that ignited the smile and laugh were gone.  I whispered to her that I promised I will watch after her son and that I will miss her terribly.

The service was a Hindu service and the lengthiest I have ever been to.  It was difficult to watch S saying goodbye to his young wife. 

I am filled with questions, sadness, and lots of other emotions.  I so wish she would have felt like she could have said something to somebody.  Why didn’t any of us pick up on this level of depression?  I vacillate between feeling empathy and anger.  Empathy for somebody who could feel so hopeless that they could leave their 2 year old boy behind.  And anger at her for leaving her husband and son to pick up the pieces.  I realize these are all part of the natural grieving process.

The thing that is the hardest of all to wrap my mind around right now is that I will never see her again.  We will never talk about our boys (our little ones or our “grown up” ones).  We will never have dinner again.  I will never see those beautiful eyes or hear that contagious laugh.  How long does it take to wrap your mind around somebody being gone forever?